Ryan Holiday talks to us today through Seneca's voice, where he quotes:
"'Tantalus: The highest power is --
Thyestes: No power, if you desire nothing."
-Seneca, Thyestes, 440
Seneca means to say that our wants have power over us. I think this is a message we hear pretty commonly in terms of sexual desire and money, but let me add another layer for you.
Holiday writes "We put up with our controlling boss, though we could probably get a different job if we wanted. We change how we dress or refrain from saying what we actually think? Because we want to fit in with some cool group. We put up with cruel critics or customers? Because we want their approval. In these cases, their power exists because of our wants. You change that, and you're free."
Now think of how many times you've changed your demeanor or your facial expression for trivial benefit. Have you given a compliment hoping you'd receive one back? What about even ordering a drink you hated because it's what everyone else was doing?
These moments feel necessary and small at the time, but they add up. We've talked before about our innate sociality playing a role. But we also can decide which social groups to join. We are not victim to our situations.
The smile you keep on your face longer than you'd like? Let go. You don't need their approval of your mood. Waiting for a compliment to come your way so you reach out for it instead? Give it to yourself. Drinking a beer because that's the norm in your group? Get what you want.
Think about why you're really acting this way. Think about why you want what you want. Then ask yourself if you can give it to yourself or if you even need it at all.
"Remember: taking the money, wanting the money -- proverbially or literally -- makes you a servant to the people who have it."
Why make yourself a servant? Release the want and the power; accept freedom and peace.