Today the Daily Stoic asks us to reflect on what it is we decide to put our energy into. The authors give us this quote by Seneca in On the Brevity of Life: "Believe me, it's better to produce the balance-sheet of your own life than that of the grain market," a message he wrote to his father-in-law who was up for a big gig in granary.
What does this quote mean to you?
When I read this, I brought my lips together by pushing my lower lip upwards, kind of making the mob mouth. I gave a nod of respect.
The authors ask us "At the end of your time on this planet, which expertise is going to be more valuable - your understanding of matters of the living and dying, or your knowledge of the '87 Bears?"
I know exactly who they're talking to. Because part of me lives to hate them. And because part of me is them. That thing that drives us daily - that green paper - may not admittedly have its hands on the wheel, but we all know it's a large factor. We think "when it comes to doing what I love, I might have to make some sacrifices to make it happen". And then maybe you find yourself years later wondering why you now crave that bigger apartment or house, or even the next car model just to watch it depreciate in value the moment it walks off the lot. Wasn't this just a pit stop? Wasn't I just trying to make some money to help fund those things I really cared about? What happened?
I've never really wanted to make money the way that everyone else seems to. I went to Princeton University and majored in Economics. My career options were finance, consulting, or save the world in a major way. Saving the world seemed a far-away dream, so I thought - ok I may as well see what all the fuss is about with this high-profile finance biz. But I didn't get it. I didn't see how making more money for rich people did anything (at least this is the way I saw it, and I'm currently trying to adjust my perspective). So, I moved over to consulting. Fast-paced, exciting, dynamic, and relationship-based. And the best part was that I was HELPING people. Consulting, Right? The more I dove into it, asked some awkward questions at those ridiculous "coffee chats", and reflected on it, the more I realized I was just helping the same people I felt like didn't provide any value to our system. People who didn't need any help. People who already had it all.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't jump on the Princeton Economics money train.
I first got into Economics because it was exciting to see the way people thought and felt be put into models and extrapolated to provide clues about how they might act in other aspects. Even MORE interesting was seeing how supposedly rational people acted irrationally on a consistent basis - behavioral economics. And what linked closely with behavioral economics was psychology. Psychology was what I was really into.
Ok so if I wasn't going to use my economics degree to be a financier, what about using the psychology aspect I learned and putting it to good use? Like in marketing, per say. At least that way I'd be doing something I enjoy, right?
Wrong.
I identified so strongly with the profiles which marketers were recruiting - people fascinated about the way others think. What I still couldn't get behind was the fact that I'd be tricking people into buying products I 1) didn't care about whatsoever, or 2) didn't think they needed at all. I mean, did you really need that Nutrisystem you bought? Or the extra garlic chopper? What about that new vacuum you had to get because it was going to make your life so much simpler?
The problem with all these items is that they're all bandaids. And that's something I recognized. The real solution was finding peace in yourself and your world. This is what I wanted to discover.
Seneca talks about valuing your life experiences and the knowledge you bring to the table about the way of being. I truly believe this is what everyone is searching for. You may be buying a new hair roller, but you're really looking for a piece of your identity to shine. You might be working as a young banker because you love the chase of a new sale, but you're really looking for a thrill to distract from the fearful thoughts inside your head.
I'm not suggesting any profession other than pure sainthood is full of evil. I'm suggesting that maybe there's a deeper meaning to your career choice or your hobbies, and that perhaps you never took the time to ask yourself why. I'm suggesting that the moments you find yourself running to buy the next item, yelling at the nightly news, or scrambling for the next promotion without calling your friends/family for weeks, that you might need to take some time to ask yourself - what is more valuable to you at the end of the day? The next thing, or the right now?
How many of you take the time to be at peace with yourself? Do you need a TV to be on? Do you need to be talking? Do you need to think about anything besides that one thing?
I am in no way a master of being. I'm not even a novice. But I think of all the things to try and become a master of, this might be the most important one of them all.